Missing Threads
by Mary Kleinsmith
Summary: Missing scene. Takes place after Jacob's death, but before Sam breaks up with Pete.


Missing Threads

By Mary Kleinsmith

Story Status: Complete

Spoilers: Anything up to and including Threads

Categories: S/J ship, angst

Rating: PG

Summary: Missing scene; takes place after Jacob's death but before Sam breaks up with Pete

Archive: samandjack, sjalways&forever, jackfic, and

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these people or anything related to SG.

A special thank you to Brooke for being such a great friend

Posted 04/24/2008

"I just don't get it, Daniel," Sam Carter said, atypically nearly in tears. She leaned her elbows on the lab bench between them, finding little room due to his extensive artifacts. "When Dad," she hesitated, swallowing deeply, "died," she struggled with the word, "he was right there. He made me feel not-so alone." She finally looked up, meeting his eyes. "Now, I can barely get him to come near me."

"I know it's been a tough time for you, Sam, and I'm sorry about your Dad. We're all going to miss him. But you should know Jack well enough by now to see what's happening." Could she really be so blind? Daniel wondered, not really admitting that he already knew the answer.

"Then tell me!" she said, throwing up her hands. "Because I don't know what the hell is going on! I go into his office to talk, and we take care of business, but it's like he's only half there."

"Well, you can't blame him very much. You know it's a hard time for him."

"He and my father weren't that close to cause this kind of reaction," she responded, shaking her head. "Or, at least, I didn't realize they were."

Daniel couldn't believe she was so oblivious. How could she be so smart, yet so blind? "They weren't, and this has nothing to do with your father."

"So? What's it got to do with, then?"

Daniel shook his head yet again. He didn't really want to have to tell her straight out.

"Sam, how many times in the past eight years has Jack risked his life to save one of us? How many times has he done it for you?"

"More than I can count. Too many to count."

"Exactly. And now he's doing it again, only it's less obvious."

Sam was obviously confused, a true rarity. "I don't get it, Daniel."

Daniel sighed. "Sam, you have to know he loves you."

"Well, of course. We've been friends for years. We all love each other."

"It's not like that, and you know it," he said, frustrated with her intentional evasiveness. "He's in love with you. And you're getting married."

"I know I'm getting married, Daniel."

"He may not be endangering his physical life, but whatever it is inside him that makes him alive – that gives him life – he's losing, and he knows it. But because he wants you to have what you need, he won't say anything. He'd never interfere in your happiness. That's your life."

"But the regs . . ."

"When has Jack ever cared about the rules? He indulges the military by going along with them most of the time, but he's never cared if he broke them. But he doesn't want to endanger your career, either. He knows it's important to you. It's breaking his heart to watch you marry somebody else, but he suffers in silence."

"What about Kerry?" Her eyes flared, and Daniel knew he saw jealousy there, even though she knew she had no right.

"She's history. Jack told me she broke up with him. Said she realized that there was somebody else, even if he wasn't acting on his feelings."

"Really?"

"They'd only been dating a couple weeks anyway. He was trying to go on with his life, but after Kerry pointed it out to him, he realized that he was never going to have that life with you married to another man. He'd never say it quite this way, but he's resigned to living the rest of his life an empty shell. And you know how he is. Once Jack makes a decision, neither hell nor high water can dissuade him."

Sam looked stunned, and Daniel looked closely to try to tell if it was true or if she'd known all along and just tried to ignore it. "You make it sound like I'm killing him."

"No offense, Sam. You know I love you like a sister. But you've been killing him since the moment you said yes to Pete's proposal."

At just that moment, Teal'c walked in, obviously overhearing Daniel's last sentence. "DanielJackson speaks the truth, Colonel Carter. O'Neill has a warrior's heart, but even a true warrior can lose the desire to keep fighting when all seems lost."

"But I didn't think . . ." Sam's words came uncertainly, her eyes wet.

"But think you must," Teal'c stated emphatically. "You have every right to continue on your current path, but know that your actions will affect more than just you and the man you're going to wed."

Sam nodded shakily, wiping her eyes. "You're right," she said, fleeing from the room suddenly.

"I'm worried for her," Daniel said, watching her disappear around the corner. "She's torn up over her father's death, and I think she's starting to realize that she's marrying the wrong man."

"I am worried for both Colonel Carter and O'Neill. The Colonel has been extremely hesitant to change her path once she's chosen one, but I worry what the General will do once she has married."

"Me, too, Teal'c. Me, too."

Scene Break

Jack rubbed his tired eyes, trying to coax some focus back into them. It wasn't just that he was tired. He'd read the paragraph no less than four times, and he still had no more idea what it said than he had when he began.

Despite the fact that he's chosen to accept the position, he'd grown to hate it. What was there to like? Paperwork was never his forte, nor was diplomacy, even among his own people, not to mention aliens. And then there was SG1. When it came down to it, he wasn't ready to not be a member of SG1, and never had been. Watching them go off on missions, being left behind, was surpassed in difficulty by only one thing: having to be around Carter as she prepared to be married.

But would it really be any easier once the event had taken place and she was no longer Sam Carter, but Sam Shanahan? The answer was as obvious as the garish clothes on a goa'uld. It would only get worse.

So what was left to do? He could stay here, continuing to do a job he really didn't like while he watched what he wanted more than anything in this world slip away. Or he could quit, retire, and move away from here. Kerry had been the first one to give him the retirement idea, although he realized her only motive was to give him the opportunity to be with the woman he loved. But that woman had found someone else, so retiring would be just that – retiring. Maybe move to the cabin year 'round. Try to forget that the SGC ever existed. Sam didn't love him, Daniel no longer needed him, and Teal'c was more than ready to move on. Maybe he should be, too.

He sadly signed his name to one more report, his decision made for the most part, when the door to his office slammed open without a knock. It was something that never happened, showing such a lack of respect. He raised his eyes to chastise whoever committed such an act, instead taking in the tear-stained face of his former second in command.

"I can't do it," she bit back a sob.

His heart immediately went out to her, erroneously assuming she was talking about her recent loss. It wasn't easy for any child to bury their parent, and Sam and Jacob had been especially close. He stood, walking around the desk to face her, fighting the desire to put his arms around her.

"It's okay, Carter. I'll make sure all the arrangements are made. You won't have to lift a finger."

Her face abruptly cleared, and she was looking at him as if he came from outer space. Which, given their occupations, shouldn't have been all that odd.

"You think I'm talking about my Dad's funeral?" She sounded incredulous.

"What else? Carter, I know you're upset, but you're going to get through this. Your Dad was a hell of a guy, and you're most definitely his daughter. You'll be fine."

"No, Sir. You just don't understand."

"Of course I understand! Nobody is going to think less of you if you're having a hard time with it. You lost your father, that's cause enough. I dare any member of this command to say otherwise."

"Dammit, Jack, would you just shut up?" And with that, to his surprise, she took two steps forward, put her hands on each side of his face, and, standing on her toes, kissed him. It wasn't the most romantic, or passionate, he'd ever been kissed, but it definitely shut him up.

When she pulled away, he was incapable of fluent speech. "Wha…?"

She couldn't help but smile – the stunned look on his face was simply adorable. "This has nothing to do with Dad. I can't go through with the wedding, sir."

"Why not?" O'Neill asked, still slightly dazed from her kiss.

"Daniel helped me realize that Pete isn't the man I belong with. And if I went through with it, I'd only be hurting him, myself, and the man I really love."

She saw his face fall, and knew he was thinking that there was somebody else besides himself of which she spoke. Knowing she could leave no room for doubt, she drew closer again. "Sir . . . Jack . . . I love you. And I don't care who knows it." Then she kissed him again, this one more leisurely and less forced.

He pulled back for just a second. "You ended a sentence in a preposition," he said, muffled against her face. But instead of responding, she drew his lips to hers yet again.

Jack covered her hands with his own, and immediately noticed something missing. "You're not wearing your ring."

"No, and I'm never wearing it again. I'm going to break the news to Pete as soon as we're done here."

"Pretty sure of yourself," O'Neill teased with a grin unlike she'd ever before seen on him. "What if I'd said no?"

"It doesn't matter. I'm not marrying Pete, and even if you tell me we have to wait until the war against the Goa'uld is over, I'm still not marrying him. So get used to it, buddy, 'cause I'm not going anywhere." This was a playful Sam she knew she'd never before shown him, and based on his smile, he was loving it.

"Good, 'cause now that we've got that straightened out, you're stuck with me." He kissed her again, lightly and less passionately, but with no less love.

"So what are you going to do while I go talk to Pete?" She kissed him on the neck, nuzzling close.

"Me?" Jack smiled, winking. "I'm going to go buy Daniel a bottle of Bailey's."

She licked him over his carotid before backing away. "Get him two. This time, he's earned it."

Her hips swaying just for him, she left him alone with visions of a whole different future than he had just an hour ago. How wonderful when things actually turned out right.

The End


End file.
